Youre Only Old Once
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Dr. Seuss's elderly Everyman travels, in rhyme and illustrations, along the Golden Years Clinic's assembly line of medical tests and questions, meeting Miss Becker of Stethescope Row, Dr. Pollen, Dietician Van Eiffel, and others
For use in schools and libraries only. Dr. Seuss's elderly Everyman travels, in rhyme and illustrations, along the Golden Years Clinic's assembly line of medical tests and questions, meeting Miss Becker of Stethescope Row, Dr. Pollen, Dietician Van Eiffel, and others.
With his unmistakable rhymes and signature illustration style, Dr. Seuss creates a classic picture-book ode to aging in You're Only Old Once! On a visit to "the Golden Years Clinic on Century Square for Spleen Readjustment and Muffler Repair," readers will laugh with familiar horror at the poking and prodding and testing and ogling that go hand in hand with the dreaded appellation of "senior citizen." Though Dr. Seuss is known for his peerless work in books for children, this comical look at what it's like to get older is ideal for Seuss fans of advanced years. In his own words, this is "a book for obsolete children." A perfect gift for retirement, birthdays, and holidays! This Read & Listen edition contains audio narration.
"You know you're getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead." —John MendozaYou might be getting a bit thin on top, plump at the middle, and creaky around the knees, but that doesn't mean you've forgotten how to enjoy yourself! This collection of witty quotations, light-hearted yarns, and cheerful jokes will help you chalk that last "senior moment" down to experience, forget the grey hairs and the twinges, and celebrate getting older with a smile on your face and a twinkle in your wrinkle.
A crotchety old man decided to wash his sweatshirt. He threw it in the washing machine and yelled to his wife, "What setting do I use?" His wife asked, "What does it say on the shirt?" He yelled back, "University of Texas." If this man sounds like someone you know, chances are he's a crotchety old man! We all have a crotchety old man in our lives. Maybe he's your father, your grandfather, your brother, your husband-or, though you'd never admit it, even you! From the author of How Not to Become a Little Old Lady here's the companion, How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man, a lighthearted celebration of the grumpy old men in your life. Author Mary McHugh's 250 hilarious truths about cranky, crusty old guys who would rather spend days trying to build something rather than read the instructions are coupled with the charming and humorous art of Adrienne Hartman. If he's ever done one of the following things, it's a sure sign you have a crotchety old man on your hands: * Stood in the middle of the kitchen and said, "Where's the butter?" * Bought cans of broken cashews because they're cheaper. * Yelled at news anchors on television. * Cheated on his diet but yelled at his wife when she ate one MandM. Perfect for Father's Day, How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man is for any man who wants to ensure he doesn't slip into the crotchety zone. It also makes a great gift for that guy in your life who is a crotchety old man but will never believe one line in this book is about him!
Have you stopped getting your freak on and started getting your creak on? Do your hobbies now include 'napping', 'relaxing' and 'having a quiet one'? Have you found you've more in common with your nan than your peers? It sounds like you're OLD AF! Get out your fun slippers and sit back with this collection of hilarious quips and too-true quotes for the old at heart.
We can't stop the aging process, but with the help of How Not to Become a Little Old Lady, we can at least not act older than our age. Author Mary McHugh offers up more than 100 pointers of things not to do to stave off little old ladyhood. Illustrated with the humorous line art of Adrienne Hartman, this little book reminds us not to boil our vegetables until they are gray, tell boring stories with no point to them, carry a tissue up our sleeve, or dye our own hair and think nobody can tell.
This fascinating illustrated booklet gives a brief day-by-day summary of the top news stories of 1949, showing an important event for every day of the year. Read about key events in pop and politics, technology and travel, arts and entertainment, and famous births, deaths and marriages. This pocket volume will make a great little present for a birthday, anniversary or reunion, or for anyone who just wants a stroll down memory lane.
A tongue-in-cheek reworking of the legends of Lady Godiva and Peeping Tom, in which the seven Godiva sisters vow not to wed until each has discovered a new Horse Truth of benefit to all mankind
"Don't let ageing get you down. It's too hard to get back up." --John Wagner Like a valuable antique, maybe your smooth finish has become a little lined and your legs creak from time to time. But don't worry: even if you no longer have all your original parts and nobody can find your instruction manual, it's great to be vintage! This joyful collection of quotations celebrates the lighter side of aging, and shows that it really is the life in your years that counts.